FAILURE: Jack Nicholson

[Justin]

I'm not sure what I expected. But I wasn't proven wrong.

I heard this afternoon that Jack Nicholson was going to be appearing at a Rocky Horror Show tribute at the Wiltern Theatre in LA. The only thing I had at home were some DVDs. What the hell, I took The Shining and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and went to the Wiltern at 9:00pm. I find the door where I expect the artists to leave and there they were: Ebay Sellers. A flock of them. Standing with their bags, binders, backpacks, posters, enlarged pictures and stacks of 8x10's. Just great. I gotta compete with these vultures. I'd say about 20 of them were there.

Like many here, I'm a collector of autographs. But only of artists I dearly love and am huge fans of. I don't collect every name in Hollywood for the sake of having their signature in my collection. I collect my favorites. You put a collector like me in with these corporate, professional maggots---it's already a risk.

After about 90 minutes of waiting, a limo positions itself right at the curb where we were all standing. The back door to the Wiltern is way down below on the other end of this long driveway. In the distance, the door opens and there he is. The King of Hollywood. Jack, smoking a cigarette and coming up the driveway towards us where his limo is waiting. By now, I'm two rows in from the the gates they've put up. By strike of luck, as Jack approaches he decides to come to my side and start signing. Complete mayhem....everyone shouting, everyone reaching, everyone pushing, everyone forcing. I stick my DVD out and it's right in front of him. More and more pictures came up on top of my DVD, next to it, under it...I"m constantly trying to put it front and center for him to see it. He signs and signs stuff left and right..by now signing maybe 7 items. Still not getting to me. More and more pictures, posters and canvases pop up for him to sign. Just like a weed--you pull one up---5 more come up. And that's what happened here. As Jack moved down the line...definitely now passing my area ...the crowd shifted and I moved with it being crunched and pushed. There was no chance for me to get to where he was now so I backed out and positioned myself right next to the door of the limo which was wide open, waiting for him to get in. As he closes in on the "end" of the mayhem, insanity is increasing. The security guard walking with Jack is screaming: "Give us some room. Get back guys! No pushing!" Jack was completely covered in a sea of 8x10s and posters. I was patiently waiting (in a small pocket of very temporary personal space at the end of the line) at the door of his car. He approaches the car and people panic even more now. Pushing me harder and tighter. Suddenly this army of 20 somehow multiplied into 50---by the looks of how man things they wanted signed. Jack reaches me finally and I stick my DVD out....fighting for it to be seen. I get the sense that he's almost ignoring my DVD! He constantly looks away and signs something else. I make it a point not to stick in his face but leave it at a comfortable position. Jack gets in his car and sits at the seat. Now the security guard is frantically trying to end this pandemonium telling us that this is the end. There I was RIGHT at the door of his limo, my body pushed against his car....arm reaching in the car with my DVD. The crowd is pushing behind me and pictures and posters are all floating above my head and and below my chin. Jack is still signing as these vultures still reach in to have more items signed. Jack keeps things moving---constantly not signing my DVD which is right in front of him. Finally, he gives orders that he's done. He pushes my arm away and closes the door. The pressure from the crowd relieves. Suddenly everyone disperses. All showing off to each other what they got signed. While I stood there with my 2 DVDs---unsigned.

Jack probably signed 20-35 items. Am I mad at Jack? Not really. But I am feeling dissapointed, angry, sad and helpless. It's not easy coming home to a failure. I've had one other episode where I came home empty handed but it was okay because I had gotten the person once before. But here I was tonight...1 foot away from Jack Nicholson and I got nothing. I touched his sweater for freak sake! That close! But the whole thing was ruined. Ebay ruined it....Topixx ruined it. Wherever these people came from. They ruined it for this guy who just had 2 DVDs of his favorite movies wanting to be signed.

This was all new to me. I don't do stuff in that commotion and mayhem. It's just not worth it. there were moments I thought I was going to score but I was locked out. I'm obviously just here venting. If anyone has any similiar stories they want to share..please do share so I can feel better about this disappointing evening.

[Jaffer]

Typical dealers. They seem to have the dignity and manners of a pack of rabid hyenas. It really annoys me how this hobby is now so much about money. Sigh.

[Lydz]

Man that sucks so bad. Really sorry to hear this. It sucks how you being a true fan & SO SO close ended up with nothing & people who were getting more & more things signed just to sell ended up going home not even realizing who actually signed it..
Being in New Zealand I've never had an experience like this & meeting a star in that environment, but by the sounds of it, it's absolute mayhem.
Hopefully another opportunity comes up for you.
Sorry about all that =(

[tardis2006johnb]

Hey justin,
I hear you 100%. Like you I was there as well. Very sorry that a real fan couldn't get his items signed. Unfortunatley living in the Hollywood area you have to deal with these scum. I've been doing this for so long that sometimes I can find the "tricks" to this hobby. From where I was standing in my spot I saw that Jack was starting at the one end of the barricade. Me being short there was no way that I was going to get him in that mess. So I looked over the situation and noticed that his car door was opened. Remembering a situation I did with Clint Eastwood I went over to Jacks car and parked myself over by the crack in his door. The space is limited so maybe only one or two people would be able to shove their items in. It was pandemonium but I waited patiently for Jack to come over to his car. As he got to the car the cockaroaches were swarming him. As he sat inside the car still signing I finally reached in and he took my photo and signed it.
Justin, may I make a suggestion? Next time you might want to put your dvd covers clipped on a hard board. That way you can just "shove" your board in and most of the time the celebrity will take it and sign. Also the board kind of acts like a shield keeping some of those hands and arms out of your way.
Justin I really feel for you and people like myself that have to deal with these dealer scum. Not only do they make it harder for the real fan to get the autographs but they can also ruin a celebrities signing habits. Off the subject, I tried to get Jennifer Grey at the Dancing With The Stars rehersal studios but was unable to because she stoped signing there due to the dealers. Boy I hate them!
Anyway, I hope that you do one day get Mr.Nicholson.

[Justin]

Thanks for the support guys! I knew only folks on this board would be able to feel my pain. Funny, it's hard to imagine that I was part of that whole thing last night. The mayhem and hysteria....that's exactly what I've seen in videos of Jack signing and always thought I'd NEVER be part of it. But there I was last night...right in the middle of Hurricane Jack. At the end of it, I did kind of walk away not only dissappointed that I didn't score but also feeling sad that I had been "grouped" in with all those other guys. To Jack, I was just like the other guys there....screaming, begging for an autograph. I didn't like that I was associated with these scumbags. In fact, all of us here are now tainted with that Scarlett Letter because of these dealers. I am not sure if I would venture to try to get Jack again because I don't expect to ever find Jack without all that commotion. It depends...maybe I'll talk myself into it if the situation presents itself but I'm not really looking forward to it.

Thanks for your post, tardis2006johnb. Good to see one of the good guys was actually in that crowd! Looks like you did what I did---wait near his car but you had better results than I did. I was very out of place in that situation. I wasn't prepared for that warzone. I never had training for it. It was like being thrown in an NBA game when I've just been playing basketball with some friends at the local park all those years. There I was FORCED to survive in this battlefield...survival of the fittest. I didn't have the balls for it...the tricks...the methods. I felt extremely guilty because I thought the group was just so rude. And there I was participating in it. I hate to make the celebrity feel uncomfortable but i was so pleased that Jack was so patient during it. I was surprised he signed as many as he did. Always knew he topped best signers in Hollywood...and he was so cool last night. But I just couldn't keep up with the frantic "tone" of the whole thing.

Thanks for the tips also ! I will definitely do the clipboard thing in the future. I would've needed it for my Shining DVD as I just had the cover wrapped around the DVD box. But my One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest one was just the box with the image printed on it..so it might have been smashed or dented under the grip of a clipboard. Kudos for your for being a good collector yet putting up with those vultures. I kinda wanna build that tolerance but like I said above...I'm not sure I have the stomach for it! If I know Jack to be appearing somewhere, I might try again. But I totally don't have any inside scoop as to where he goes or appears or how these collectors find out. I found about last night only because a friend who likes the Rocky Horror picture show told me about it and she knew I liked meeting celebs. Otherwise---I never would've known. Are there sites or other forums out there that papparazii/autograph collectors go to track these things? I've often wondered. I use a few sites that list book signings or where a celeb is appearing on stage/performing but nothing like smaller events like that last night. I usually catch a celebrity if they're performing somewhere or at an official "signing." Which explains why I'm not used to this frenzy type with these mega stars (Nicholson, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise etc).

[Hollywoodman323]

Out of curiosity what were the dvd titles, I only ask because the way you said it was almost like he was ignoreing the dvd cover.

Edit(i just saw your post you made while i was typing mine saying the Shinning and One flew over....)

There are times where talent have been known to ignore certain movies of their's for what ever reason.
A few months ago at a local talk show taping i had been trying to get drew barrymore to sign my et poster, and it felt like to me that she was purposely skipping my poster, it wasnt till the end when someone finally (i want to say it was bud simpson) pointed my poster out to her and she signed it.

another Time at the same local I was trying to get a Buffy season 7 photo of Fath signed by Eliza Dushku and she kept ignoreing it, even though i was right front and center, i kept moving it towards her and she kept signing everything else around it even though she had seen it, finally i said can you please sign my photo, and her response was thats old school i only sign current photos, I had to beg for her to finally half heartedly sign it. telling her this was the part i knew her best from and Why would i get something signed that i wasnt a fan of hers from.
It was also one of the worst signatures i have ever recieved in terms of how it looked compared to what everyone else got.


As for the ebay dealers, dont be afraid to push their items out from on top of your things, these scum bags look for where they have the best shot of being able to not get resistance from fans whos stuff they put there 20 pics ontop of to get signed.
It can be hard and annoying at times but if someone puts there item on top of yours put yours right back on top if you can.

Was the red headed scourge there at this event? This definately sounds like something he would be waddling around at with his rollaround cart and pictures.

[Justin]

Thanks Hollywoodman. Like I said above, not sure how many more opportunities I'll have to practice this way of getting autographs amidst the mass hysteria. Until practice makes perfect, the idea of failing would sting too much especially since I choose only my true favorites to get autographs from. A lot of those are under that "mega stars" group that would almost always have this crazy hysteria follow them around: Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks or Clint Eastwood. I would love to get these guys but A) don't know where to find them B) not able to handle the pandemonium from Ebay scum that swarm them. Yeah a lot of people had Shining and Cuckoo stuff so I knew that Jack wasn't "against" my items. But it sure did feel like it.

If anything I would've thought that Jack would've seen the DVD box and thought "Wow, a DVD instead of an 8x10 or a poster---that's new! This guy must be an actual fan!. Let me sign that one for sure." Okay, an impossible thought but I do like to choose items for celebs to sign to show that I'm a real fan and not just a cold seller. Yes with Jack's celeb calibre I would've loved to have him sign something I could frame and put up on the wall, but I wasn't prepared and only had DVDs. But I love having celebs sign my DVDs--far more personal than an 8x10 or a poster (to me, at least). So I was extra bummed that my DVD was overlooked in the sea of shiny glossy photos.

Sorry wouldn't know which guys were there (red headed scourge?) as I normally don't participate in "Jack Nicholson" level adventures. I did see this one guy that I had seen once before after a Mel Brooks appearance in Hollywood. Tall black guy, older in his 40's, sort of talked with a lisp, extremely talkative and frankly, a little weird. We both were waiting for Mel Brooks and succeeded but he wouldn't shut up. Not sure if he was a collector or a seller. But I didn't jive with him.

I was definitely in the middle of a small "community" last night. Everyone sort of knew everyone. A lot of clicks. I knew from the get-go that this was going to be a mess. Funny, no matter how many years these idiots have done this....no one has ever learned that you get more done when you provide the celeb with comfort, respect and space. I wish we had all lined up in one large line and just stood there silently as Jack signed. But no, they acted like guys trapped in a desert, reaching for water. Screaming, yelling, pushing and acting more like jail inmates.

[Justin]

And for anyone interested. Here's the exact video of what happened last night. I'm the one with the Cuckoo's Nest DVD...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXVDg47jCOs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXVDg47jCOs[/youtube]

[kennedyniles]

And for anyone interested. Here's the exact video of what happened last night. I'm the one with the Cuckoo's Nest DVD...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXVDg47jCOs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXVDg47jCOs[/youtube]

Those people are crazy!

[StevenQ]

That's nuts! The words that come to mind are "feeding frenzy". I think I see you in the video, you didn't stand a chance. I bet it takes the wind out of your sails.

My wife wanted to get Jack's bad too. My dad was in the California Air National Gaurd with Jack(also Ron Ely and others). I'm hoping someday they have a reunion so we can get his auto that way.