Please grade my essay!!!!!!

[chooper786]

Please grade my essay!!!!!!

· “When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success”. Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

Some people argue that; a person’s success depend on his/her hard work and others argue that luck places an important role. I believe hard work helps a person to succeed.
May be luck also plays an important role, but hard work is the most important key to success. There are many scientists, famous persons, athletes who worked really hard to fulfill their dreams. The most obvious and an important example is Isaac Newton. He made a brilliant and many important discoveries which we use every day. He had done his experiments hundred times before he came up with an ultimate result. He didn’t just depend on luck, he worked hard for it.
In case of athletes they work really hard to succeed in the competition. They all will work 18 hours a day. They can’t really pray to god to bring them luck; they all have to work hard. Considering my personal experience, I believe in hard work. I have written GRE three times with no success because I didn’t put much effort and thought that luck is on my side. But for the 4th time I worked 12 hours a day. The hard work finally paid off when I scored more than what I actually expected.
In conclusion, with my personal experience and considering all the famous people achievement I always say hard work is the key to success. If you work hard, no one needs luck to success.

[britneyfan]

your answer is really good. you bring up some great points and have used some good examples. some of your English and grammar needs correcting and try not too repeat the word 'hard' so much, try too find alternative words too use instead of it. But other than that I think you have done well. I would probably grade it at a B. Hope this helps.

[Jaffer]

I agree with the above comment in regards to using "hard". A possible substitue could be "perseverance" . I am no scientist so I cannot comment on Newton, but in sport, luck is just as big a factor as hard work, so I would try to find another example instead of sport.

What is GRE?

[James]

.. and it's not really an essay, more of a paragraph...

[Jaffer]

.. and it's not really an essay, more of a paragraph...

Very good point.

Was there a word limit?