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If I didn't send a SASE the first time I wrote to someone, and it's been about 3 months, is it OK to write them again and send a SASE? Or how long should you wait, even if it's to an agency?

I'd wait a bit longer. I did the same thing on accident and just when I was going to write to them, they sent back. I'd give it another month or two then send again with an SASE