First Letter I wrote, need opinons please

[smackedsillyxxx]

Hi, this is my first letter, I need opinions on anything I should change. This letter is to the model sammie pennignton, some might know her.
Should I mention that I included ircs? Since this is out of country. Please let me know what you think. Letter is below. Thanx!!


Dear Sammie Pennington,
Hello, my name is -------- I am from the United States in the state of Florida about 15 minutes from the beach. This winter it went down to around 35 degrees and I nearly froze to death ha. I am a total nerd when it comes to video games, but I do still find time to play the guitar and work. I originally contacted you via facebook for your fan mail address, which I thank you for helping me find since I would have never found it. I first became a fan of yours when I saw you in Front Magazine June 2008 issue, which is the first time I ever bought Front. I continue to buy Front each month, but your cover issue is still my favorite one. I hope to see you on the cover again soon then I can have two favorite issues. Would it be possible for you to autograph the picture I have included or if you do not like that picture to send me an autograph picture of your choice? If it is not too much trouble can you personalize it To Eric. I wish you the best in everything you do.

Sincerely,
--------------

[RYAN J.]

It's a good letter, but it should be a bit longer. I like to use a 8x11 peice of paper and fill in both sides. You could mention some of your favorite hobbies that you enjoy doing. maybe list what you'd like to do for a living or tell her about what type of work you do. Lots of celebs like to hear about their fans and what they find interesting.

You can mention the IRC part, say something like, "I've included an return envelope already addressed with an IRC so you don't have to worry about return postage"

& If you like, reword the request part to : "& lastly, if it's okay, I've included a photo I hope that you can please personalize and sign to Eric."

Other than that it's a great letter! Just keep in mind those are just my thoughts, if you don't like them that's okay. That's where creativity comes in.

Best of luck with your success!!

RYAN J.

[musicfan]

Im gonna be honest And say I think your letter is very cute....some cute little jokes and your hobbies...and y you like this celeb...i think its great...if you make it two sides...i think thats alot (a bit too much) but if thats what you wanna do go head and do it

but i think the one you have now is quite fine ;)

musicfan

[smackedsillyxxx]

thanx for the tips. I take it there is not set format, kinda just whatever ya feel like writing

[musicfan]

thanx for the tips. I take it there is not set format, kinda just whatever ya feel like writing

yea there is no set format but here is an outline:

Intro
Stuff about you
Why u like the person your writing to
whats your fav. things about them
do they inspire you?
future goals
Ask for a signed photo
outro

[smackedsillyxxx]

do the following ending need work??

Lastly would it be possible for you to autograph the picture I have included or if you do not like that picture to send me an autograph picture of your choice? If it is not too much trouble can you personalize it To Eric. I included a self addressed envelope and an international reply coupon to pay for shipping charges. Well I better let you go I know you are very busy unlike me slacking off at work ha. I wish you the best in everything you do and I hope 2010 is amazing for you.

[downtoearth]

I'd not use the word "ha" in your letter, but that's just me. I'd also check on the punctuation.

Then again, I have a degree in journalism.

[magicdude20]

As always I agree with Ryan J., While I try to fill a page on both sides, I usually end up filling up one side but I do what I can, It's always a good idea to tell a little bit more about yourself, my name and age are always mention in the opening line, and I usually repeat my name at the end to for personalization reasons. And I usually close my letter with

"I know you're very busy, so I want to thank you for your time

Thanks for everything
(I sign my name here)"

Some celebs are pretty busy, some are too busy to answer their fanmail so I always make sure to thank them

[Revolver]

It could do with some work, it needs to be longer and like someone said above don't use 'ha' - it doesn't look right in the context of a letter. Also, don't double-greet ('dear' and then 'hello'), use one or the other but 'dear' is far more appropriate.

[jeannie]

how about instead 'ha' use smile is that a bad idea? because in my letters i like to draw face smile